Truly Amazing Writing

In the aftermath of the Oklahoma Tornado, 5/6 M and M students wrote some amazing texts. They were moved by the images and video footage of what happened in Oklahoma, particularly in relation to the elementary school students. Melissa and I are SO proud of this writing and would like to share some of our brilliant writer’s work:

 

I Stood Still by Ethan

 

I stood still watching the devastation from the destructive wrath. Then the vicious cycle of wind heads towards me. I begin to run, watching familiar cars, houses and plants being torn apart and devoured by the rampaging tornado. But then it happens. I see things around me start moving. That was what I saw last before it all went black. At the time, I assumed I had died. But I am able to open my eyes, a hard throbbing in the back of my head. I wake up, blood oozing from my shoulder. I pull a sharp piece of tin from the wound. I try to remember but nothing comes up. I only remember seeing houses destroyed. I stand up trying to see things that I can remember. I see cars and houses and then I find a house with all parts of it intact. I walk into the house. I finally see something I remember. I see my face in a mirror. But as I keep walking I see my face again but this time it’s not a reflection, it’s a photo. I look at least 12 in this photo, younger than I look in the mirror. I assume I am at least 14 right now. I open a door. It has Ethan on it. Inside is a bed, shelf, cupboard and a computer on a long desk but this desk looks like it was already hit by a tornado before this one. I recognise this room at that moment. It is my room! Then I see a small black and white dog crawl out from under the corner of the bed. I remember this dog. Her name I can almost remember. Is it Sarah, or Zoe? I think about names for a minute but Zoe is commonly coming up so I say “Zoe”. She turns. Her name is Zoe. I leave the room and the dog follows me. I look for more photos. I find one. It’s of me and a six year old girl I assume is my sister. I search the whole house and find nothing of importance so I decide to leave the house. The dog continues to follow. I see all of the debris and the destruction. I look for some people who are familiar but nothing. There’s only about 50 people in this town. It looks like my house is one of the lucky ones. I see a group of four people and that girl is with them from the photo. I remember the rest of them. It’s my family Andrew, Karen and Ellla and my grandma. My mum yells out “Ethan” and my whole life flashes before me and I remember. I remember everything, my family, my friends and my pets. I finally stop panicking. The dog starts barking and I cry with happiness, knowing I have found my family and my memories.

 

Tornado by Eden

I am standing still watching the funnel of wind dancing towards me. I hear people shouting but I take no notice of them. I feel a tug at my arm. I suddenly jump into action running with my class mates to the safe place, the shed. We’re in the shed in a flash, shovelling out the remaining equipment onto the path, trying to make room for others. In what seems like no time at all, the funnel is next to us. We hear the howling of the wind crash the sides of the shed, making it seem like at any minute we will get ripped off ground. The wind slowly tears the thin metal off the walls but moves too quickly to get a grasp. We hear the screams of others as they walk outside, only to be sucked up into the grey funnel of doom. We all help lift up the door. We haven’t heard anything for minutes. We think it’s safe. As we slowly walk out into the gloomy world in front of us, we are horrified at the site. I fall to the ground and hold my head in my hands, not able to look at the ugly mess. I hear the cry of others as they realise this has actually happened and they have no school and they don’t know if their family is ok.

 

Georgia

I’m standing still as I stare through the mountainous wreckage of the dismantled homes which the razing tornado ate through not long ago. The bare trees are hung with tin rooves that flew off the destruction of homes. The wreck makes me feel dizzy at the thought that the tornado struck my home Town. Everyone, everything I saw before has now become the past.

 

Grace

I stood still. I watched in complete horror. It truly seemed like a frightening dream, only it had somehow converted into real life, which was a whole lot more terrifying. I couldn’t even bring myself to imagine what this destructive nightmare would do to my home town. Suddenly, I heard screeching sirens getting louder and louder as they travelled closer, Police cars briskly drove past us, red and blue lights flashing rapidly. As the tornado started to get closer and bigger my family and I decided it was time to leave, grabbing our most precious possessions. We headed for the car and drove away swiftly. We were all devastated to leave our home, but it was our only hope. I looked out the window and took one last look at the ginormous twister, and imagined what it might be like when we came back. My heart sank; I knew we would never see our house the way it was before again.

 

Lachie H

I stood still as the giant vacuum sucked up everything in its wake. Paralysed with fear I looked everywhere for protection but nothing was strong enough, strong enough.  Death was near. I saw citizens being sucked out by the twister. Finally it finds me. I start to run but the sky monster gains rapidly, can’t even describe it. At last the chase ends as I face a massive wall. I stand defeated. I face it as it shreds me apart. I take my last look at the world which is now rubble. Suddenly, the tornado starts to fade. Too late. I get sucked in and out of the top. Somehow I survive. Now plummeting at top speed, I prepare for death. My bones shatter and I die the most painful death I can think of.

 

 

 

The Davey Dragons

Here are two drawings that Ethan did over the weekend.

Ethan: the two dragons I drew as two different species of dragons; the one on the left being a male magma dragon and the one on the right is a female aquatic dragon. These dragons are not from anything and are completely free hand drawn.

Fire

With catastrophe, the blazing bushfire marches across the valley (LG). Homes set ablaze; lighting up the eerie, tainted sky. (PO). Advancing rapidly towards endangered homes and  residents, the fire uncontrollably swallows everything in its path and moves swiftly onwards. (BG). The fire creeps forward and licks burnt trees, run down houses and sweeps up all the dust like a tornado. (GH) Devastated families try to escape the destructive fire before they are swallowed by the fierce flames. (HRB). A hair-raising gust of wind passes, making the sizzling fire travel higher and higher up the sooty trees. (HB).The wind runs, swiftly though the forest.(LE) The carnage burns down everything in site. (LV) A gail force wind kicks up a wave of fire, provoking it to engulf the survivors. (LH) The  roaring fire bucks up like a horse in the blazing wind.(JM)  People can’t run from this!(BG) A parched tongue licks up its dessert. (BL) The fiery tongue curiously looks around for lively scraps to digest.(ZA) The fire climbs up trees burning what once was lush bush land(CS) With the burning fire becoming uncontrollable, the survivors sit with despair and stare at what used to be their homes and is now charcoal and ash.(WN)  Frantically, they search around trying to find any valuables that haven’t been hit.(HG) Residents watch in horror, as their homes and hope are lost. (GW) Devastation washes over everyone like a wave hitting the sand.(BH) Lives flash before their eyes with the horror of death.(KS) When all their dreams are burnt to cinders, the firemen pat citizens on the back. (KW) What  now? No home; no food. (MR) Lumps throb in their throats, their hearts snap in half and water swells in their stunned eyes.(EO) In despair, people stare into the wasteland that has consumed lives, homes and hope. (ED) As fewer flames dance and sizzle, locals shed tears in desperation for a place to call home.(CW) Tears tumble down the hopeless survivor’s cheeks, depression is written all over their faces as the final flame sizzles out. (EA) Crisp, black coal scolds the earth.(ZB)

OUR CLASS WROTE THIS PIECE AFTER WITNESSING AUSTRALIAN BUSH FIRES VIEWED ON YOUTUBE.  EACH STUDENT CONTRIBUTED ONE SENTENCE.  EACH STUDENT NEEDED TO REREAD THE TEXT TO MAKE SURE THEIR SENTENCE MADE SENSE.  WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE END RESULT.

WHY NOT GIVE RICH WRITING A GO!

 

Amazing Designers in 5/6 M and M

This term we are doing a novel study. Each student has selected a novel that appeals to him or her and we are going to use these novels throughout the term to find out about how writers work, the kind of devices they use in their texts and how to improve our own writing. The first task was to create a front cover in our literature books depicting the novel selected. Here are the best ones, as selected by the class and Mary. It was VERY hard to choose as there were so many wonderful illustrations. These are inspiring …