Fire

With catastrophe, the blazing bushfire marches across the valley (LG). Homes set ablaze; lighting up the eerie, tainted sky. (PO). Advancing rapidly towards endangered homes and  residents, the fire uncontrollably swallows everything in its path and moves swiftly onwards. (BG). The fire creeps forward and licks burnt trees, run down houses and sweeps up all the dust like a tornado. (GH) Devastated families try to escape the destructive fire before they are swallowed by the fierce flames. (HRB). A hair-raising gust of wind passes, making the sizzling fire travel higher and higher up the sooty trees. (HB).The wind runs, swiftly though the forest.(LE) The carnage burns down everything in site. (LV) A gail force wind kicks up a wave of fire, provoking it to engulf the survivors. (LH) The  roaring fire bucks up like a horse in the blazing wind.(JM)  People can’t run from this!(BG) A parched tongue licks up its dessert. (BL) The fiery tongue curiously looks around for lively scraps to digest.(ZA) The fire climbs up trees burning what once was lush bush land(CS) With the burning fire becoming uncontrollable, the survivors sit with despair and stare at what used to be their homes and is now charcoal and ash.(WN)  Frantically, they search around trying to find any valuables that haven’t been hit.(HG) Residents watch in horror, as their homes and hope are lost. (GW) Devastation washes over everyone like a wave hitting the sand.(BH) Lives flash before their eyes with the horror of death.(KS) When all their dreams are burnt to cinders, the firemen pat citizens on the back. (KW) What  now? No home; no food. (MR) Lumps throb in their throats, their hearts snap in half and water swells in their stunned eyes.(EO) In despair, people stare into the wasteland that has consumed lives, homes and hope. (ED) As fewer flames dance and sizzle, locals shed tears in desperation for a place to call home.(CW) Tears tumble down the hopeless survivor’s cheeks, depression is written all over their faces as the final flame sizzles out. (EA) Crisp, black coal scolds the earth.(ZB)

OUR CLASS WROTE THIS PIECE AFTER WITNESSING AUSTRALIAN BUSH FIRES VIEWED ON YOUTUBE.  EACH STUDENT CONTRIBUTED ONE SENTENCE.  EACH STUDENT NEEDED TO REREAD THE TEXT TO MAKE SURE THEIR SENTENCE MADE SENSE.  WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE END RESULT.

WHY NOT GIVE RICH WRITING A GO!

 

7 thoughts on “Fire

  1. Wow guys, this is amazing writing. How pride am I to be one of your teachers? Now you can take these skills and apply them to your own writing pieces. Makes me really look forward to reading your next snapshots. Is there anything in particular you would like to write snapshots about? Am experience, an image, a taste, a sound?
    From Mary

  2. Hi this is Kayleigh and Eboni from New York class. It is a very good piece of writing and we really enjoyed reading it.

  3. Hi this is Rachel from New York class. I loved reading your Fire post as it is very detailed. What made you write about Fire.

  4. Hi it’s Molly from Constantine Primary. This is great writing, I particualarly liked the first line. Well done!

  5. Hi its Rufus from cornwall
    I would like to know why there are things in brackets like BL in the writing anyway its extreamly good.

  6. Wow I’m mya and I think that is one of the best pieces of writing I have ever read they are so discriptive!
    mya

  7. Hello, I’m Claudia Scott from Constantine Primary School and I really enjoyed reading this post because it was very descriptive and powerful. Also I liked it because it put an image in my head!

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