100 Word Challenge Week 3 Bess

My heart was beating incredibly fast. All I could think of was… RUN, RUN, RUN! The astronomical wave was plunged over me and I swirled out into the deep. The wave marched on devouring everything in its path, like a giant gobbling up its tea. I struggled for breath gasping and spluttering for air. I grabbed onto a lamp pole. Another wave shot out of the water and I went down. The lamp pole banged against my leg and I screeched out in pain. But only I could hear myself. Then the pole flew back. This time it hit my head. Then my world went black.

 

Congratulations to Mady whose 100WC made it to the showcase this fortnight! Visit www.100wc.net to see her name up in lights!

 

5 thoughts on “100 Word Challenge Week 3 Bess

  1. Bess you wrote a very dramatic story that made me feel as if you might have actually experienced such an event. I love the very creative and descriptive words you used, as well as the great line, “like a giant gobbling up its tea” – clever writing! Keep up the good work, and nice job in using the prompt.

  2. Hello Bess,

    Being overwhelmed by a tsunami (a series of powerful waves) would be an incredibly frightening experience. Your heart would most certainly be beating incredibly fast as you were overwhelmed. Your story shares the tension of a life in danger as your character struggles to survive, made all the more tense as no one is there to help. We could only hope some miracle saves your character because you have left your readers “hanging” when your character blacks out. Well done. 🙂

    You have made excellent use of descriptive words in your story as you share metaphor and simile. As examples, “The wave marched on devouring everything in its path” creates an image of a relentless army engulfing all ahead of it. “…like a giant gobbling up its tea.” shares an image of the size and power of the engulfing wave. The ability to create pictures in the minds of readers is an important writing skill. Again, well done.

    Have you taken the opportunity to visit the entries of students from other schools? It is interesting to see how others have approached the prompt. Don’t forget to leave them a comment if you do visit. 🙂

    I think you enjoy sharing stories as much as I do so I hope you keep entering the 100WC.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

  3. … oops, it seems I forgot to close off the “strong” (bold) towards the end of the comment. 🙂

  4. Hey Bess,

    What awesome descriptive words! – ‘astronomical, devouring’. Wow! Great drama too. Keep up the good work!

    Ben (5/6B)

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